Pain Threshold leads to God Dependence

Recently it dawned on me that my threshold for pain is huge. Well, in my definition at least. Since I was small, I barely complain of being sick or in pain. I remembered when one of my teeth was about to fall out like hanging by a string, I didn't tell my parents and pull it out myself. I think I never have gotten down to telling them.

I have quite a number of stories but the most recent, I was on my way back from Sydney with friends. when we were just half an hour away from landing at Kuala Lumpur, my ears and my head was hurting as if a bomb was going explode inside my head. My nose was also experiencing tightening. I had no idea what's happening, the pain was excruciating I thought I might die if something did burst inside me and yet I didn't call out for help. Neither did I show the extent of my pain to my friend, so no one took it seriously.

I bent down my head and stayed still as best as I could, breathing extremely slow because every breath I took it makes the pressure and pain in my head worse. In all this turmoil, my spirit cried out to God for help, a cry of helplessness and fear. Telling him "please make it stop, I don't know how to shout for help", "the pain is killing me and I have not felt this before".
Moments later, it subdued a little, I could move a little, I didn't know how to sit or even to breathe for that matter, afraid the attack will come back.
God knew and understood who I am and what I was not able to do. He healed me from whatever that might have happened. He intervened for if He did not and I remained in that pain, I wouldn't be able to get off the plane like a normal person.  Those 15min of excruciating torment made me feel alone and unsure of what's next.

I'm truly grateful for His understanding and intervention. I consider this experience as God saving me again.

My life is His and truly I submit this body of mine to Him. I will accept only His time for my departure away from this earth to my heavenly home. I can only pray that I will be able to do my best to care for the body He has given me.

And just recently I researched and found out its called aerosinusitis. If you Google it, you would be able to find out more. A good awareness for people with sinus.

Notes from an old Notebook

 Once in a while I find myself writing in my notebook. I love notebooks, I collect and use it when I can, if not it remains a collection. This post is dated in October, 2008 in one of my Thought-Keeping Notebook where I write about what God speaks to me through everyday things in life. And it was written:

                I have not been to the hair salon for quite awhile in terms of hair keeping. Although I still have a degree of curls since my last perm, I encountered a lot of difficult knots that I can’t seem to disentangle it.  Then it dawned on me, God shows me if we don’t upkeep our spiritual faith, temple-keeping, consciousness of God’s Word, we would end up with a lot of ‘knots’ in our life.  They could become bondages.  It can get to the point when our desires become too drawn to the tantalizing ways of this world and the need for God is lessen.

                The saying goes “An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure”

I need to take care of my hair to avoid the knots becoming a dead knot because when it does I will have to cut it off.  And so its the same with our everyday living, we want to avoid bad consequences. He reminded me that it’s only logical for me to care for the temple of the Holy Spirit(our body) which He resides in. With a simple fact that He is in me. To honour God with my words and actions as well as my physical body is what God desires from us.  Easier said than done but the key is to always try with His help. Depending on our own strength can get pretty short lived however with God's help, it gets easier and we become a stronger person.

It’s great that we have a loving and gracious God ‘cos we can never meet His standards yet He cares to help us out, He forgives us and never leave us, and there is nothing we can do to make Him love us more. He loves us just as we are.

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I love dancing more than playing an instrument or singing and even though I have stopped dancing on stage for many years now, it was probably for the best. For I know my weakness and I may not have been strong enough to withstand certain things like I would have probably gotten into a crowd I might regret or dancing in ways I might not please God.  I still love music , rhythm and melody always gets to me. Although I have only danced in church a few times, I have not felt that it was my calling to be in that ministry just yet. Yet to be known where that ministry is concern.

Everyone has their own giftings and callings, I pray we all find it soon enough to live it out and if you are already living it, continue to use it for His glory.